By Recently, I came across a statement that read, ‘A best friend is someone who brings out the best in you.’ Now that got me thinking.
Who is your best friend? It was a very easy question to answer when I was young. It was the person I had known the longest, shared more memories and inside jokes with. At school, whoever stuck around for more terms than others automatically became my best friend. During break time, we shared food and walked together to the taxi rank. That was it everyday, repeatedly.
As an adult the who-is-your-best-friend question became a little tricky to answer but the response still based on time and how much they know about me nonetheless. Friends I have now are those I have known since I was a teenager. I can literally count them on one hand. Let’s call them childhood friends. I have made and lost friends along the way. Dropped some and some dropped me. There’s pruning that comes with age due to changes within and around you. It’s life although some are more painful than others.
Back to a best friend being the person who brings out the best in you. I started questioning the conversations I have with my friends, what we do when we are together, the advice we give each other and and and…You don’t realise how much gossip brings out the worst in you until you have an honest conversation with yourself. It’s in the little things. For example, when gossiping you are judgemental, low-key saying that you are better than the gossiped and the laughs shared is you enjoying someone’s downfall. A lot of negative words come out of your mouth and before you know it they are curses. Let’s be honest, it can also bring out jealousy when you hear how well someone is doing especially when you are you at your low.
Yes, people gossip. We inevitably find ourselves talking about other people. As friends we confide in each other. When we spend time together we make memories. Questions kept coming, ‘How much of what you do together makes you a better person? Do you find yourself thinking less of yourself after spending time with your friends? Are you too invested in people’s business than yourself and your goals? Are you more available for your friends than your spouse? How much of your moral values do you compromise when you are with your friends? How much power do they have over your decisions? Who are you when you are with your friends? How much do you lose or gain if you stay friends?’
If you solely base your friendship on what they do for you then have a more lengthy and honest conversation with yourself. People can do good selfishly while your cup runs dry. A person can willingly cover your lunch, club (alcohol) and transport bill so that they have a personal photographer, company and content while your children are left with no one to help with homework, prepare for school or attend school consultation day.
A best friend brings out the best in you. This is the person who is rooting for you to win at character and goals. When they advice you, the best of you as a parent, child, colleague, neighbour and citizen is triggered. I didn’t have a clear definition of best friend. Now I do. You have your definition of best friend and so do I but I hope that when someone calls you their best friend you are bringing out the best in them and vice versa. At the core of it, what are friends for?
Bring out the best in your friend/s.
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